Today on my way to the woods, I first heard a police siren, you know that short bwoop -bwoop, not the long high-speed chase kind. I then saw a police car, lights flashing, had pulled over one of my neighbors in his driveway. He was standing arguing with the police officer. As I continued walking to the trail, I could clearly hear what they were saying to each other. The police officer was upset because the man had not pulled over right away “How did I know how far you were going to drive?!” he shouted. “I knew you would follow me!” The man insisted as he stood in front of the open door where his young child was sitting in a car seat.

Their voices drifted as I entered the woods. The grey-brown trees dark from the moisture of the snowstorm last night, the branches covered with a thick layer of snow, like the whole world had been frosted for some king’s birthday. How quickly I had left witnessing such a tense situation to seeing such peace and beauty. So, I thought, why did I see that today? I believe that everything that happens in our experience is a chance to learn, so what would I have to learn from these two men arguing over a traffic stop?

As I noticed deer and squirrel tracks in the new snow, I thought about the conflict and the two main characters. The police officer believed he was right. The man believed he was right. The truth, I believe, is they were both right, at least to themselves. The police officer would report that my neighbor did the wrong thing. The man would tell his friends about the crazy cop who pulled him over.

A woodpecker high up in a dead tree pecked away for his winter meal. I was circling back home, when I realized the lesson in what I had observed. As Aimee Mann, one of my favorite singer-songwriter’s, lyrics say “perspective is everything”. In every conflict, there is a truth to both sides of each story, a truth so strong that we will raise our voices, slam doors, turn to addictive behaviors, isolate and even cut ourselves completely off from each other. I was able to have a neutral perspective on the cop and my neighbor, I could see both truths.

So, perhaps from this perspective I had today, the next time I am in disagreement with someone, I will be open to not only my truth, but have compassion for their truth and to quote myself from my painting titled pure truth, “The truth exists pure somewhere…”. -Amy Roemer 2-22-10

Pure Truth by Amy Roemer

To view more paintings by Amy Roemer, visit www.amyroemer.com

Something happened to me! Have you ever said that? Did something really happen to you? “Of course!” you may say “That guy just cut me off, didn’t you see that???” Isn’t it amazing how quickly we can become offended, defensive, victimized by something that “happened” to us? What if we took the perspective that we have control over what happens to us, most of the time. For example, instead of seeing a guy cut you off in traffic, you see a guy pull into the lane ahead of you ( notice I said “the” lane, not “your” lane) very close. You are okay, he is okay, and you drive on. Wow, how easy was that? You chose to just observe and spent no energy on being mad/angry/victimized by an action that the other person may not even be aware that they did. Maybe driving is not his strong suit, or he was late, or driving his desperately sick dog to the vet! Don’t we want compassion when we do something wrong or that we are not good at?

I remember experiencing the Northridge Earthquake in 1994, when I lived in Los Angeles. The whole city was shaken and several days after, I was in my car, stopped at a traffic light. I was a bit zoned out when the traffic to the right of me began to move, I instinctively pressed on the gas before looking straight ahead! I ran right into the car in front of me. The man in the car just waved and said “It’s okay!” He didn’t even get out to check if there was damage. We were a community of people who had just become one by experiencing something together and he had compassion for me in that moment and I was so thankful for that. So, notice when you tell those stories of what “happened to me”. Try to see a situation from all perspectives. Remember when you did something that wasn’t perfect and how great it would be next time to get a kind reaction. It stretches our muscles to break out of old habits, and this one is worth it, you save so much energy that you can use for what you choose to have happen!-Amy Roemer 2-6-10